i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
you inspire me to be a worse person
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
