when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
