Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
