she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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