Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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