You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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