just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
