I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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