we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
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