when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
