Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
