break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
