OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
