R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
