I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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