they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
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She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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