life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I think people are normalizing furries
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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