I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
