He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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