We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
