Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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