Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
