Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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