i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
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