god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
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There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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