i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
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he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize