we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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