oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
