Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
