We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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