I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
