i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
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