You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The struggles of a small town man whore
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
