Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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