5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Can vaginas get frostbite?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
