I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
