I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
