Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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