Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
