hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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