my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I FOUND THE LEGS
His nipple licking is glorious
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