did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
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gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
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Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me