At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
