am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.