Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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