Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
