Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
