oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
