hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
