I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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