Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I think my vagina is haunted
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
