I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize