I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize