'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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