He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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