i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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