talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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