Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
BRING THE BAGELS
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
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