I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
