Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
