Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
