You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
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