Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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