you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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