Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
