The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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