My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
so explain again why im purple
no
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
